Overwhelmed With Perfection

Today I will begin with honesty.  My day started with good intentions.  Intentions of handling being the mother of 4 with perfection.  I stayed up until 11:30 busting my tail to get prepared for the perfect day.  I wanted to get a shower, feed the baby, and have Daniel at preschool early, not even on time, but early.  Needless to say Daniel didn't get to preschool early, but 15 minutes late, and having observed his mommy losing her temper more than once.  It all began when I attempted to turn the television on PBS so he could watch a show while I showered.  The T.V. didn't work!!!  By the time I was ready to step into the shower the baby began to cry to eat, next I realized Daniel's lunch hadn't been made, the seats were stowed away in the van, and etc...    All these frustrations aided in my terrible morning!  By the time I got into the car I called my wonderful husband very upset, and this in turn upset him.  What did I do wrong?

I did "EVERYTHING" wrong!  However, it all began with failing to seek God as soon as I opened my eyes.  You see, I was trying to accomplish the perfect day on my own power.  God doesn't want me to have a perfect day on my own power.  He uses mornings like today to humble me!  To reveal my need for Him!  In the process of humility I had to apologize to Daniel for getting upset, Daniel's teacher for being late, my husband for losing my temper, and to God for failing to seek Him first!
 
Why this desire to be the perfect mother, maintain the perfect house, have  perfect appearance, to have perfect children, and to have life completely structured.  I realize all this is fleeting!   What does God say about being overwhelmed with perfection?  Ecclesiastes Chap 1 says, "Meaningless!  Meaningless!"  says the Teacher.  Utterly meaningless!  Everything is meaningless.  What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?"  (14)  " I have seen all things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.."

What does this mean to me?  During my quiet time this morning God revealed the place of my heart.  I have been behaving like a Martha, with no room for God, alone time with my husband, and quality time with my kids.  My focus is work... work... work...  The more I work, the more I feel needs to be done!


Now I sit on my front porch.  I love the beautiful day God has blessed me with, and I love feeling his love blow through the trees.  Despite the wretch I was all morning God still shows the extent of His love for me!  Amazing!