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I awake trembling,
I can't catch my breath.
I am stuck in a world from long ago.
I am a child.
I have no control over my surroundings.
There is a man screaming.
Throwing lamps and knick-knacks.
I smell alcohol in the air.
Suddenly I am alert.
Slowly, I realize where I am.
I am safe.
I am in my home.
My loving husband is asleep next to me.
My children sleep calmly in their beds.
Tears flow endlessly from my eyes.
Momentarily, I remember the fear of long ago.
Peace that transcends all understanding, guards my heart.
Thank you Lord for answering my prayer's.
My prayer's for a Godly and happy home.
For healing the pain of my childhood.
Thank you for the reminder.
However painful.
To always be grateful for my loving and secure home.
---I don't often write or speak about the detail's of my child-rearing days. I feel I have dealt with the past. God has healed the fear and insecurity of my past. However, on occasion I have terrible nightmares. In these nightmares there is a common thread, a feeling of powerlessness. Children who live in alcoholic, neglectful, and angry homes feel a lack of control. I moved out of my childhood home at the age of 16. I have lived in safe and secure homes for 16 years. However, at times I have bad dream's associated with the past. I live a stable life, no depression, am married to the most Godly and loving man, and raise my children with the Bible as my focus. Deep down the memories still persist. I am thankful that God has healed my pain, and blessed me with a Godly husband and happy home. Please remember as you raise your little children, the fear of childhood doesn't disappear in adulthood. Fighting, overuse of alcohol, and neglect affect children the rest of their live's. Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work for good to those who love Him, to those who were called according to His purpose." God has used my past to teach me life lessons; unwavering faith, a heightened dependence on God, and a deep sense of gratitude for life. He has taken the pain and turned it into a beautiful butterfly. We have freedom to fly in Christ! Spread your wings and fly!
---I don't often write or speak about the detail's of my child-rearing days. I feel I have dealt with the past. God has healed the fear and insecurity of my past. However, on occasion I have terrible nightmares. In these nightmares there is a common thread, a feeling of powerlessness. Children who live in alcoholic, neglectful, and angry homes feel a lack of control. I moved out of my childhood home at the age of 16. I have lived in safe and secure homes for 16 years. However, at times I have bad dream's associated with the past. I live a stable life, no depression, am married to the most Godly and loving man, and raise my children with the Bible as my focus. Deep down the memories still persist. I am thankful that God has healed my pain, and blessed me with a Godly husband and happy home. Please remember as you raise your little children, the fear of childhood doesn't disappear in adulthood. Fighting, overuse of alcohol, and neglect affect children the rest of their live's. Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work for good to those who love Him, to those who were called according to His purpose." God has used my past to teach me life lessons; unwavering faith, a heightened dependence on God, and a deep sense of gratitude for life. He has taken the pain and turned it into a beautiful butterfly. We have freedom to fly in Christ! Spread your wings and fly!
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