Sunflowers... The Desire of My Heart

A year ago, we had a dead tree cut down in the front yard, and the space where the tree was cut down was boring.  I wanted something pretty to take the place of the tree.  A few months ago, I decided to plant sunflowers in the spot.  I'm a bit fearful of keeping things alive.  Every time I have cared a plant, or attempted to planted something, it has died.  I determined this time would be
different.  I watered the flowers nightly, sang to them, talked to them ( I really didn't sing to them and talk to them, don't worry I haven't gone completely crazy), and prayed they would grow into beautiful flowers.  After several weeks, the seeds began to sprout.  The flowers began to grow, and I was thrilled.  One morning, I walked out of the house to check on my baby sunflowers, and they had been eaten.  Some animal, came along and ate my precious flowers.  I was heart broken, and once again felt like a "naturely" failure.  My husband, trying to be serious, and trying not to laugh, hugged me and told me he was sorry.  A very dear friend once told me, "Life's what happens, when you have other plans!"  (How true!)

A few days later, my husband walked inside and said, "Crystal did you see the sunflowers growing in the backyard, and in the front by the bird feeders?"  Much to my excitement, I found sunflowers growing all over my yard.  These amazing flowers are growing in large bunches.  Needless to say, I am thrilled!  My husband told me last week, "I think it's funny that you cared for those sunflowers in the front, sang to them, watered them, and spent hours helping them to grow.  And all the while these flowers, grew with no help from you or anyone."  Even in the midst of our drought, the flowers grew wild, strong, and beautiful.

I  began observing these spontaneous sunflowers growing in our yard, and I began to think.  These sunflowers represent my spiritual life in several ways.

First, I was focused intently on this small area of my yard, I failed to recognize other beautiful flowers growing, in other parts of the yard.  How often do place all our energy into one person, thing, desire, etc, and fail to see other things, God has in our path.  I struggle with this continuously.  Having come from a dysfunctional family, I have many family member's whom have serious issues.  I can focus intently on solving their problems, to the point I fail to see other people who need my help.  Unfortunately,  it usually ends up being my beloved husband and children whom take the back burner.  It is a constant struggle prioritizing my time, attention, and energy. I have to remind myself, God is first, husband is second, children are third, and the rest.

Secondly, I realize that all while I am attempting to use my own power to grow the sunflowers, God is growing flowers all around me.  Often, I feel that if I don't teach my children, if I don't keep them right at arm's length, they will be runied.  I hold too tightly, I fail to allow God to use other people to witness into their lives.  He will use people all over the world, to grow my children, unto Him.  I am simply one venue for their growth (albeit, a big one).

Third, I was depressed and sad when the animal ate my flowers.  My imagination couldn't have fathomed, God would grow beautiful sunflowers, unbeknownst to me, in other parts of  my yard.  God is cool, like that, amazing.. really! Although our plan often fails, he usually has something more beautiful heading our way.  We must only wait, and believe!  We were living in Korea, for 3 years.  To be honest, living abroad was taking it's toll on me.  I began praying, "God bring us back to the states!  Anywhere?  I just want to go home!"  I would ask my husband everyday, "Did you get any e-mails from Alaska... South Dakota... ?"  (I mean I really didn't care.  I just wanted to be home!)  One morning out of the blue, my husband received an e-mail from our home in Bloomington, In.  Indiana University wanted him to take a visiting professorship.  I never imagined God would bring us home...  That is so like God!  He truly desires to give us the desires of our hearts.

Finally, God reminded me once again, that he knows my thoughts, my deepest desires, and He loves me!  I never prayed God would bring my sunflowers back, or for sunflowers to grow in my yard.  I assumed all was lost, and I would have to wait another year.  God proved his love to me.  He wanted me to see His beautiful creation, and knew the pleasure these sunflowers would bring to me.  God blesses me "ALL THE TIME"!  I love it!  I prayed as a little girl, for God to give me a loving and Christian family.  Although, I had to wait several years until he lead me to my husband.  He gave me the desire's of my heart.  A loving husband, three sons, and now a little girl! He blesses us, and He longs to put joy into our lives.  We must stop and see His blessings!

God loves me...  He portrayed His love to me, in the growth of the beautiful sunflowers in my yard.  How has God revealed His love to you?  Do you take time to stop, and smell His roses?  Do you remain quiet, and still long enough for God to whisper, His love into your heart?  

God Bless,

Crystal